IUI Tommorrow

ok ok......we are finally doing...shudder.....fertility treatment.....oooo its like a naughty secret. Hmmm, have a 20mm folli on my right side (very anxious little guy). Trigger tonight, IUI tom and thursday. I am praying that Hashem Blesses me with a positive outcome and that He sees fit to help my dream come true.

There said it. Its out there. Yes, I want this to work. ok, now to keep myself busy....tick tock tick tock

ye ye ye.......

I am soooooooooo over this week. It has sucked royally, except for last nights ice skating, where i was top of the class (and the class clown) lol.....

Having serious PMS (due on the weekend) and that sushi dinner last night wasnt the best of plans....woke my up at 3 in the moring to catch up on some light reading......

Still having dread thoughts about next month and terrified fibroids are recurring (having had horrible cramps since ovulation this month).......uh oh......

will find out next week, me guess........

Well we didnt go for the councelling. we were both freaked out.......

so we going to attempt an IUI before going the big guns and the IVF route. I figured out that a lot of my anger and insecurities was about transferrance. i kept blaming hubby, thinking he was dragging his feet, but in reality i was terrified of going through IVF with no success. So we are going to work our way through the system and do it slower but in a better mindset...

in the meantime lots of intimacy and bonding :D

So next cycle we start the scanning again and are on the road of the next chapter. Pray i dont wing out again .......

Thursday morning we have our councelling session with the nurse. I am looking forward to getting on the road with this IVF thing (and also understanding what it is all about). I think FS convinced DH that it was the best road to go, but of course he needs time for it to sink in. Luckily they spoke stats and it got into his stubborn, scorpio head haha......

So waiting for next week and in the meantime, keeping myself pretty busy with work and the world cup......... its sooooooooooooo noisy around here!!!!

long time no write!!!

Hey everyone,

shew what a crazy few months (of left sided ovulations i may add)...not one on the right side. i swore plenty in my CD10 scan this morning and on to IVF we go....whoppeeeee

hormones, injections and lots of procedures....ah well, the sacrafice is there to have a little rugrat....

all systems go (inlcuding the wallet lol)

kisses...................

Good grief, when it rains it pours...this month sucked

ok, so this was THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE perfect cycle except for the emotional part. I ovulated on my right. it was a good one, i could tell. I wanted to do an IUI but DH was blindsided by all this and needless to say it wasnt condusive to actually having the bloody thing done. so we didnt. i am heartsore but i am ok cos DH has been so nice this last week and i know he feels as crappy as me.

so its probably gonna be another few cycles when i can do an IUI but hoping my right ovary suprises me next month and gives it another go.................

Waiting and waiting.................

CD24 today. Which means i am a few days from my AF (period for all you non TTCers)

I am crampy, irritated and just want to get this week over and done with so i can start a new cycle. Had a horrible 2 weeks of blood tests every 3 days. i am soooo over that one. I now have a fear of needles. As if i didnt have enough fears.....

but the good news is that I am finally off cipralex and coping. I am finding that i dont need it anymore and that is fab as the side effects were so crap. Even with my major case of PMS i havent threaten to divorce DH once this week (ok i did go off at him yesterday morning, but that was purely PMS instigated....)

Please G-d give me the patience to accept whichever ovary you chose to let me ovulate BUT if you 'happen' to use my right, i will be ever so gratefull and may even be nice to my mother

:D

I know there is like zero chance of conceiving this cycle (due to my left side ovulation) but I cant help wondering if this twinge or that ache is a symptom. While I am glad to have an excellent doctor who is holding my hand through my cycles and giving me up to the day feedback on what is going on inside, its also hard knowing that this cycle is out.

I have come this far and gone through so much and now its not going to happen this month. I am thankfull I am still in the running to have children, but I wish i could just KNOW i am going to conceive really soon. It would make me feel more relaxed.

Anyways, I am having 14 ppl from DHs work over on friday night for our Shabbos (Sabbath). Now that i am back to working full time i have to precook everything. I made chicken soup and dessert last night (hope it will stay nice till tom night) and tonight i am precooking the ribs......

Very tiring and i still have to shop for quinoa (yummy) and salad stuff............. but you know, all this keeps my mind busy and off TTCing....... I could never not work or keep busy. Sometimes you need the distraction of life to keep your mind off thinking about life..............

PCTs.... oh the joys

Well, turns out I am extremely hostile and that includes my cervical mucus. None of the little men survived - DH said it explained a lot (jokingly)

So I am douching tonight in bicarb (with a turkey baster - I totally give up cooking chicken !!!!) and retesting tom. He thought maybe doing an IUI but since I am ovulating on my wrong side, we decided it wasnt worth the effort......

DH was in with me today (sex is a good argument ender lol) and we were kidding around so much. Dr J had to take a 2nd sample and i was moaning about it, so DH pretended to knock him on the head.....i packed out laughing. Dr J must have thought I was nuts.....then he says "oh right you the one with the funny uterus"so I said "funny as in funny ha ha????? or funny in heres a great case study"

anyways, glad the injection is over (DH was trying to help but he is such a baby when I took it out he ran out the room)

Oh and I saw an old friend at the specialist (shes obviously trying for her 2nd) and she said her hubby had testicular cancer. Sometimes we are so focused on ourselves, and that even though we may have issues, so does everyone else............

I cant believe how expensive this IF is. I have spent (this month only) like R3000......

wow........

So anytime someone tells me how lucky I am that I dont have the expense of a kid, I will tell them how lucky they are that they dont have to worry about their looks anymore >:D

Turns out I am ovulating a little earlier than I thought. I was timing my cycles around 14 - 16 and I am on CD11 and we are triggering my one little folli tonight. So i will ovulate 12-13.....crap, i seem to get all my timing wrong.....

Though I always had a problem knowing what cycle day I was on as i was getting premenstrual spotting and all that...so in a way I am glad I am spending above amount so at least I know what is going on inside there........

and tonight i have to inject myself....hmmm, great way to make me feel comforted for the prescribed 10 -12 sex session we HAVE to have.....like no pressure right.............

I know its been said before but I honestly never really thought about time quite the same as when i started trying to conceive. Two weeks to ovulate, two weeks wait to test....one month down, 6 months down, 1 year down......and on and on. In the background the ticking clock of my biological clock. I will be 35 in 6 months. I sure hope I am pregnant by then...pleeeeeeeeeeeeesseeeeeeeeeeeeee..... hell, I hate admitting my desires in case they are jinxed, but I figure that when I kept quiet they never happened anyways so what the (d)uck.......

I am trying to get more into excerising. Tommorrow I start TaeBo again. I used to do that in my youth and loved it. I will probably huff and puff a lot more in my 30's , maybe it will prepare me for lamaze (sp?) not that I will be doing the natural birth thing anyways. Somehow i always felt the pressure to do it natural and secretly wondered if I would cope. So glad the decision has been taken away from me...... here I go, rambling on like I am pregnant. But hey, I am a planner by profession so this is a natural thing for me. Why do ppl look at you like you are mad when you talk about your future kids, but happily sell you life insurance and discuss funeral plans????

Now that we are on the topic. Why the hell cant i buy a bigger house in preparation? I already bought a bigger car (v proud of myself, especially when i get the comments from those fertile myrtles who refuse to work)......

I think I will look into education plans this week

:D

The only good thing about surgery is the drugs!!!

Well, Had my laparoscopic surgery and all I can say is "Bliksem"

They removed a huge fibroid on the top of my uterus (which was pressing on my bladder as well as making me look 4 months preggy), 3 smaller ones and stage 2 endo under my ovaries (on my tendons) and also a little on my right ovary.

I had my period on tuesday and it hurt like anything (which i was warned about by my FS). I l am so pleased with the results as my period is perfect now (no spotting, just nice red flow sorry TMI) and no premenstrual cramping. So woo hoo for technology. I am so thankfull that I live in todays time as they can save my uterus. Years ago they would have given me a hysterectomy. I am truly blessed.

As for my UU, the FS left the rudimentary horn in (which he said was inactive) as removal can cause further problems. He also said my UU was a good size and almost as big as a normal uetrus - which I almost cried when I heard. So, we are full steam ahead for this cycle. He is conducting a timed PCT this month to see if we just try naturally for the next few months or we may have to have further interventions.

Will keep you little unicorn lovers posted!!!!